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Mar 12, 2017

Sister Mai Nghiem shares her practice of recognizing, embracing and transforming suffering. She also shares the teaching of the noble eight fold path, the four nutriments, including how different types of relationship are nutriments.

Sister's Mai Nghiem poem:
☀ Why i don t want to be call an ally, ☀                                               

Ally
From the moment  i first heard the word, i got allergic to it...an ally allergy.
Why?
Well, the first thing is that in my french brain, "les alliés", as we call them,  are the good Americans and British soldiers coming to save us from the evil Germans.
Word of war, violence, and partisan conflicts.

But deeper than that, my brother, if you call me an ally, i'll get offended.
Why?
'cause i expect you, to have a higher expectation of me.
I expect you to expect me to fully embrace who i am.
I expect you to expect me to break open,
I expect you to expect me to show my shit with no shame

This is why i do not want to be an ally
'cause i don t wanna help
I don t wanna be the "good intentionned white folk" feeling so bad about it all
...and yet so disconnected...

For as long as i don't understand how ignorant i am
There is no hope
As long as i don't see myself as a slave merchant, a fanatic missionary or a murderer
There is no hope
As long as i refuse to understand how an entire society can see going on a "picnic" as being a pleasant family outing
There is no hope
As long as i shut my body and mind to the unspoken, unknown, unfelt yet raging pain of a human whipping an other human to death
There is no hope
 For as long as i keep greed, money, power, fame and sex as the only gods in my life
There is no hope
No hope for any of the  rainbow children on our beautiful Blue Mother

I heard the Earth whisper one day, that "Fearlessness is not the absence of fear but the willingness to walk into it".
This is what my white ancestors are asking me to do:
"Walk right into the darkness,
Right into the thick mist of whiteness
And free us from our ignorance
Heal our ancestral wounds....
Centuries of hatred, pride, discrimination, fear and violence.
Who will hear our cries for help if not you?
Who will quench our thirst for true amendment if not you?
Who will deliver our souls from the chains of guilt if not you?
For as long as true healing isn't taking place,
Suffering will remain the world's pace".

This is the voice of the ancestors begging for our courage and love,
Echoing the Angel's song
"It is the willingness to offer our best,
claim responsibility for our worst and
fold it all into the continuous moment to moment practice of
simply being present to what is,
that promises to deliver our future".

That's why i don't wanna be an ally
...I wanna a be a healer


Judy Nakatomi
almost seven years ago

I am grateful for your poem, Sister Mai. This morning I read it before sangha and was overcome with tears of joy and the heartfelt way you shared your desire to be a healer much more than an ally. Merci beaucoup!